My new beginning….

I sit here grateful for the life I have now. I never used to be like this, I mean shit I didnt even know how to love myself nor anyone else. I used to wake up each and everyday mad and angry for no apparent reason. I wouldnt even have to have a reason to be mad I just was. I thought that was normal, well for me that is. I always knew something was wrong with me but couldn’t figure out what that was. I thought maybe it was my childhood and how I grew up, or I thought hmmm maybe I am just broken. No matter how much I thought about it, it just made me more mad and angry, which made me hate myself more. This went on for years, and when I say years I am talking about from the age of 16 to 33 years of age. It wasnt until the end of my drinking days where I began to realize it wasnt just me, nor my childhood it was my disease of addiction, the evil shadow of alcoholism. As I began to realize this I knew I had a problem and I needed to fix it. Since the beginning of my sobriety I have seen a huge difference in my attitude and way of life. Its as if I was reborn and opening my eyes for the first time and seeing the world. I can actually feel again and love again, things I couldn’t do before. The normal routine of just waking up and being happy to start your day I get to finally experience that. I wouldnt change this feeling for anything in the world, this is my new beginning, and I will never give up…

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